The Little Things

When you are faced with a syndrome that consumes your body and creates symptoms that cause all sorts of illness and pain, its sometimes the little things that help you focus on getting through another day.

When my kids aren't with me, I rely on social networking to keep me company as well as meeting a handful of special people in person. For the short bursts of attention I receive during these interactions, the pain is put on the back burner and I feel like I'm living again. It may not seem like a huge accomplishment but when you have to force yourself to get out of bed on a regular basis you might understand it a bit more.

I never thought I'd like Twitter so when I signed up in 2009 I really didn't see that it would end up being an addiction as well as an avenue to keep close to Twitter friends. Its now one of my favorite ways to communicate with friends near and far.

One thing I have learned above all else, Italians because of our heritage immediately bond and develop long term Twitter bonds. One person in particular that I seem to keep in touch with most lately is an amazing vocalist/musician named "G" or Gaetano. He goes by @g_got_soul on Twitter which isn't entirely a name that defines him, he should be @g_IS_Soul. I come across a lot of amazing vocalists & I'm not an easy judge to please but this guy, WOW, seriously one of the most amazing talents I've met in years. If you can closeyour eyes & listen to an artist as they sing & have them make you FEEL the music, then this is a person who has extreme gift & should never stop putting out this talent for all to hear no matter how long it may take to sign with a great label. Not by any means a comparison but an eexample, Katy Perry was basically laughed out of her first label & told she'd never make it in the industry. Persistence made her a star because the word NO is just not an option when you have passion driving great talent.

I personally want to thank Gaetano for allowing me to be a fan of his music, it brings me to a place of comfort I used to feel 20+ years ago when I actively sang & now that chronic sickness has consumed my life, its the little things that take me on short mental vacations so I can feel alive again. Obviously, if I had the financial means to excel his career, I would not hesitate one second to bring him to that next level. I TRULY believe he's on the edge of success & all those countless years of practice, investment, devotion is about to pay off. I want to witness that happening, its on my Bucket List.

My other Twitter obsession, black women. What is it about beautiful black woman that has peaked my curiosity so much that I basically don't even acknowledge white women anymore? Yes I did fall in love with the most amazing black girl ever that propelled my interest but after having several failed interactions with a few other black women after her I still feel the ultimate draw to them. One of my closest friends now is a married woman I met on Twitter, she's black & adorable & I can't go a day without talking to her. Its not what you would think, I'm not trying to pull off a robbery, I don't play like that but I do adore this young lady & the times we share chatting. She allows me to fully express myself, which is certainly awesome to be able to say ANYTHING & get away with it. I do prefer girls as best friends most of my life so having her now in my life makes me feel comfortable again so to speak. I know I say the craziest shit to you T, but it is all in good fun & my way of venting or should I say purging my inner thoughts? Lol, regardless, we have something amazing going on & I'd like to think I'll live long enough to be able to do a couples vacation with her, her hubby & whoever my Mrs. Right might be moving forward.

Speaking of my Mrs. Right, who will she be? I've met so many amazing women lately & its not like I'm sifting through them waiting to find a winner, I'm still trying to figure out what I have to offer them. Take for instance Ms Kash. Now here is a BEAUTIFUL woman, aspiring model who actually gets paid for it unlike those girls who say they are models & just pay a photographer to film them. She's going back to college for a great career, she's driven to support herself & make her life more & more stable as she goes. Why can't I date a girl like this? She knows I care about her, I've never hid that from her, the only thing I have hidden from her is my health which if she's smart, I'd be the last guy she should be interested in. I can't guarantee her a future if I'm unable to have Drs tell me exactly what I have in store for me. Yes I understand the whole "sudden death syndrome" I get that but give me a date PLEASE! I was told to get my affairs in order, create small goals & if I made it to see my youngest daughter turn 2, I was doing better then they could predict. That was a year & a half ago, still here so now what? I've gotten worse, true, but I'm f**king determined to stick around forever if its up to me. The will to live MUST be stronger the the anticipation of death. Who knows, but Kash, just know that you are the perfect girl for ANYBODY who's willing to step up & treat you with the respect you deserve. I'm so glad I met you & I'm happy no matter where the future may take us later down the road. Im satisfied just knowing you the way I do & if it never goes beyond where we are at now, great friends, then so be it, I'll be here when you need me.

In closing I'd like to say that T was responsible for me doing this blog again. Apparently she went & read some of the previous posts & felt I needed to get back behind the keyboard to put things out there again. Hope you like this one "Sis" its 2am & I'm unable to sleep so I guess this is as good a time as any to blog. Thanks for reading, my next blog might be the story of how I met Dutchess. Its really such a unique story that has actually spark the interest of a movie producer in NJ, someone who has worked with my cousin on a few movies so we shall see. What a legacy that would be & NOTHING would please me more than making Dutchess famous. She meant that much to me. Story for another day, Ciao.